Sex Addiction; How do you know you are addicted?

Sex is a beautiful experience (when done right). Aside the heightened pleasure one receives; there is a flush of hormones throughout the body including an adrenaline rush and dopamine release. That is what makes sex exciting. With heighten pleasure come the likelihood of addiction. How then would you know that you are addicted to sex? Is it the case where you won’t know you are addicted until you try to abstain and relapse?

I was walking through the back channels of the Madina market in Accra where the vegetable traders set their stalls that afternoon, only that the narrow and crowded lanes were almost vacant. I have been ignoring several call and hisses from some idle ladies in the dim night who want to catch my attention, as if their skimpy skirt and erotic dresses were not enough. A source informed me of the black market drug peddler who could fix you with Viagra and other enhancement to you sex experience. I counted three of such stalls. I was standing in the middle of a growing sex trade (“Sex exchange”, to add a dramatic feel to the name) in Madina. I am not here to talk about the age old profession, I want to understand what sex addiction is.

But first what do people think about sex addiction? Is there a case in which our society should be worried about?

Edna, a young Ghanaian lady, said sex can be an addictive behaviour once it starts interfering with “a successful social or healthy life.”

“As soon as society can take note of your sexual undertakings, then you have a sex issue. Because sex is practice in private but then, if everyone can see yours, then there is a problem.” She explained.

“The frequency and the craving plus the duration between intercourses should determine that you are addicted to sex,” said Christable, another respondent, in a rather interesting mathematical statement.

Christable, said, it is based on one’s exposure to sex; in other words, how easy it is to have intercourse with another person.

In retrospect, sex addiction appears to be a confusing issue to define. There are those who believe it is a myth.

“This is how I see it,” said Steve, a Kenyan resident in Ghana, “I can abstain for one month. It will come to time that I do it [have sex] repeatedly for a week then I get tired of it. I have a capacity where I get full and lost interest in it.” But as to whether he could be addicted to it, he is not aware.

What is the nature of addiction? For a first timer, how does it feel to be addicted to something? How would you know?

The Pantang “Drug Treatment and Rehabilitation Centre”, in Accra, was the plausible option that comes to mind. The Centre is, however, drug treatment institution but has seen patients sex induced drug users come by. Judith Azumah is the Project Manager of the Centre. She was to explain the nature of addiction and how one can become addicted to anything.

According to Mrs Azumah, when you do something that will affect your activity of daily living of becoming a responsive member of society but at the point of doing it, you don’t care about the consequences, then we can begin to be sceptical about your behaviour as addictive. It could be substance, food, sex or any activity.

She noted that there are two notable factors to any addictive behaviour: Obsession and Compulsion & loss of control or will power to stop.

“Obsession is the thought”, she said, “It is the overwhelming thought that comes to your mind. You feel like if I don’t do this thing, I won’t survive the next minute.”

“The compulsion follows, where you feel you have to do it to survive. If addicts refuse, that tension continues to go up and up until they do. Then that obsession subsides but unfortunately once they satisfy that obsession, the feeling resurface and this time more than the first,” said Mr. Kantoh Samuel (Deputy Project Manager) as an interjection to the conversation. He spoke with some cold certainty and with sincere emotion as if feeling pity for the helplessness of those in such situation.

The formation of addiction occurs in the limbic system.

Alexandra Katehakis (addictionblog.org) noted that sex becomes addictive once there is the presence of obsession, compulsion, loss of control, and continuation in spite of negative consequences. According to Alexandra, the highest level of sexual addiction is demonstrated criminal sexual behaviour including child molestation, sexual abuse of vulnerable adults and rape. At the mildest level of addiction, addicts engage in illegal activities that could be consider “nuisance offences” of which voyeurism and indecent phone calls are part.

Sex addiction, according to the Center for Healthy Sex portal, encompasses damaging sexual behaviours. Sex addictions could be in the form of excessive masturbation, obsession with pornography, exhibitionism, sadism.

Deviate sexual behaviours and fetish can show as Paedophilia, “Frotteurism” (rubbing against a non-consenting person to facilitate sexual stimulation), “Necrophilia” (sex with the dead), “Gerontophilia” (Sexual preference for the elderly), “Zoophilia” (sex with animals), “Erotic Asphyxiation”, and the strangest of all “Dendrophilia”

Centre for Healthy Sex, and online portal, enumerated some test question to find out whether one is addicted to sex.

Having a preoccupation with sex that interferes with a normal sexual relationship?

Feeling compelled to have sexual relations again and again within a short period of time?

A compulsion to engage in sexual behaviour that leaves you feeling anxious and depressed or guilty or ashamed

Being driven to sex as a means to hide from the troubles in your life?

Taking large amounts of time from family or work to engage in sex (or look for sexual adventure)?

The shocking realization is that I might be at the initial stages of a sexual addiction after all.

AIDS too is real.