DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS NOT 'COOL'
So this morning I woke up to the usual squabble of a couple - neighbours. I had a hunch he was going to beat the wife this morning. The man was itching to beat the woman, for he was complaining without end, (like a nagging old lady). The shameful thing I did was, I minded my own business.
I saw through my
window the exchange and the composure of the wife in her attempt to
avoid the argument. I heard the aggression spiking in the man's voice. I
felt the nursing mother's attempt to explain that resulted in further
exchange. They spoke in a language of a tribe in the North but violence
and aggression are universal languages (emotions).
I was ironing when I heard it. Their daughter and a few month old son were all in their single room quarters amidst this struggle. I rush out to the porch, angry and I wanted to knock his door to stop him. But I....
It was unbearable for me so I went in my room to observe through the window. That was when I saw the woman dashed out and threw herself onto the step.
This shameful man is Bra Latif (I apologise if you feel I have offended your tribe or religion). I bear this shame as well.
The landlord and his brother now mobbed around the weeping mum, and trying a weak attempt to rebuke the man. They were more annoying for I had informed the landlord's elder brother about the issue when Latif started beating his wife.
Most of all, I was angry at my inaction. We all saw and heard but no one interfered until it was late. I thought I was a bachelor and too young to interfere in marital disputes.
Mulling over the whole ordeal, there were several scenarios playing in my mind. What was the young daughter of 4 years thinking about the father hitting the mother in front of her? what consequence will that have on the child when she grows? I am sure in her mind, all men are violent and that would be her reaction to every man aside her father. What if during the struggle they stepped on their infant boy? What will be the reaction?
In this case, it wasn't as if the woman wants to stay with the man. She had left him once to stay with her mother in Togo. Upon the request of some elders, friends and even a religious leader, she was asked to come back to her husband. That was just a month ago.
Here are some simple things to do when you know your abusive husband will attempt it again
This is Paul Agbo reporting from Adenta Commandos, Accra - Ghana.
I was ironing when I heard it. Their daughter and a few month old son were all in their single room quarters amidst this struggle. I rush out to the porch, angry and I wanted to knock his door to stop him. But I....
It was unbearable for me so I went in my room to observe through the window. That was when I saw the woman dashed out and threw herself onto the step.
This shameful man is Bra Latif (I apologise if you feel I have offended your tribe or religion). I bear this shame as well.
The landlord and his brother now mobbed around the weeping mum, and trying a weak attempt to rebuke the man. They were more annoying for I had informed the landlord's elder brother about the issue when Latif started beating his wife.
Most of all, I was angry at my inaction. We all saw and heard but no one interfered until it was late. I thought I was a bachelor and too young to interfere in marital disputes.
Mulling over the whole ordeal, there were several scenarios playing in my mind. What was the young daughter of 4 years thinking about the father hitting the mother in front of her? what consequence will that have on the child when she grows? I am sure in her mind, all men are violent and that would be her reaction to every man aside her father. What if during the struggle they stepped on their infant boy? What will be the reaction?
In this case, it wasn't as if the woman wants to stay with the man. She had left him once to stay with her mother in Togo. Upon the request of some elders, friends and even a religious leader, she was asked to come back to her husband. That was just a month ago.
Here are some simple things to do when you know your abusive husband will attempt it again
- Leave the house if the argument is becoming intense. Don't worry about having the final word.
- Avoid enclosed spaces including your room when arguing. you need as much witness as possible if your abusive spouse is reported to the authorities. Also you need people to intervene quickly when things get violent.
- I can't believe I am going to tell you this but: carry your infant child at your back to deter your husband from getting physical during an argument.
- But remember, always report to the Police when ever your spouse raises a hand at you.
This is Paul Agbo reporting from Adenta Commandos, Accra - Ghana.
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